letters // for when everything is falling apart

If you want to be held, open your hands.
— rumi

Dear one,

You're loved. 

You're safe.

You're supported.

Even though you may feel none of these things in this moment, know that each statement that you've read applies to you right now.

Now, let's be real -- unraveling fucking hurts. "I'm fine, it's fine" positive thinking in the midst of your heavy duty feelings serves no one. It's okay to feel what you feel right now. After all, you're human and humans feel things. No matter how much it feels like it, there is nothing wrong with you. 

When we recreate our past in our minds and grip strongly onto it, we hurt and the depression sets in. When we create our future in our minds and grasp tightly onto it and things change (as life inevitably does), we hurt and the anxiety sets in. 

This practice isn't a way to make your problems go away; we can't spiritually bypass our feelings or our circumstances. What this practice serves to do is give support to yourself in this unraveling through being present in your suit of skin and bones and radically accepting what is -- no matter how shitty the circumstances feel.

the practice // out of mind and into body

If you can, get to a quiet space; not necessarily silent, just quiet. Close your eyes for a moment. 

Like your belly is an accordion, breathe fully and deeply into it for at least ten breaths.

Open your hands, palms facing up. Imagine that your sadness, your worries, your fears are in the center of your hands. You can place your tears in that center, you can speak or yell into your palms; all are valid additions, if it helps.

Make fists. Squeeze nails to palms, wrap your thumbs around your knuckles, perhaps even squeeze your eyes tightly. 

Inhale. Hold for ~3 seconds at the top of your breath.

Exhale. Hold for ~3 seconds at the bottom of your breath. Open hands, palms facing down, soften eyes. 

Repeat as often as you'd like.


I choose to wholeheartedly experience my emotions, whatever they are, and let go of them afterward. 
I choose to be kind to myself in this situation; there is nothing wrong with me.
I fully accept myself as I am and this situation for what it is.